5 REASONS NO ONE SHOULD BE MOVING TO BOISE RIGHT NOW
Our gorgeous little secret isn’t getting out anymore. IT’S OUT! The Treasure Valley is rapidly changing and with change comes GOOD and BAD. I try to look at the glass half full, welcome people in, and see the positives but some… a lot… don’t see it that way. They see it almost like they own this territory and an invasive species is taking over. To each their own right? So… if you don’t want anymore people moving into our little Idaho Oasis, what do you say when someone’s considering it and they ask you about how nice it is here? This blog should HELP 😊
EARTHQUAKES
Remember that 6.2 magnitude earthquake we had last year? Yup. There’s more where that came from. Idaho had more than 5,000 earthquakes in 2020. More than 2,000 of them were above a 2.0 and 20 of them were a 4.0 or higher.
We sit directly on the Sawtooth Fault Line and some seismologists say that it’s only a matter of time before we get hit with the BIG ONE!
(Note: If you’re trying to scare off Californians… this probably will get a slight chuckle out of them. You may want to move on to Step 2)
GATORS
I have yet to see a gator anywhere other than Zoo Boise but hey, it’s worth a shot right? ***The Boise River runs straight through our beautiful city and beneath the beauty of all that water, lush trees, and shrubs you may find something nipping at your tootsies.
I remember hearing rumors of people releasing baby gators in the Boise River years ago. They wanted them as pets, realized that was a BAD idea, and didn’t know what to do with them. SO… do those little critters creep around when we’re not looking? Who are we to say they don’t, right??
STENCH
****DO NOT roll the window down while driving through Boise. And it’s even worse when you crack the outside areas of Nampa, Caldwell, Emmett… the list goes on.
Nobody ever talks about the overflowing piles of garbage and sewage spewing through our beloved Treasure Valley. We have * 962 landfills total… * 181 of them inside city limits and the **excess stink of all those power plants spraying sulfuric aroma into our Boise skies gives that potent smell of some kind of giant rotten egg that’s just been cracked.
**Truth is… Idaho may be the WORST smelling state in America.
SCARY CLOWNS
Remember that SCARY CLOWN craze that went down three or four years ago? ****Well, they all live here! Yeah. Boise is Scary Clown central.
I just watched a series about Pirates back in the 1700’s and one of the things that stuck with me was how these pirates all needed a home base. That home base ended up at the island of Nassau. A place where pirates lived a lawless life and did what they wanted to, when they wanted to.
**That’s just like Boise and these crazy clowns. They’re all over the place.
NOTHING TO DO
It is soooooooo boring in Boise. There’s absolutely nothing to do here. If you like to ski, snowboard, hike, or bike ride. We don’t have any of that. If you like to get out into beautiful sunshine and hit things like local Farmer’s Markets on the weekends. Yeah… we don’t do that either. Maybe you’d like a place that enjoys all four seasons with about the perfect dose of each one. Sorry… not here. Oh, and you want a place that’s got that city life but just a few minutes away you can feel like you’re out in the country??? Not happening.
In Boise… we don’t do things like float the river straight through the middle of downtown or, if you’re looking for something a little more adventurous, take on some class 5 rapids. None of that here.
A college football team that pretty much wins their conference every year, always ranked in the Top 25, and locks in high caliber bowl games. Don’t know what you’re talking about.
The Greenbelt, Potato Drop, Table Rock, 8th Street, farm land, city life, no traffic, big concerts, waterfalls, hiking, skiing, biking, FOOD… OMG the food here, wineries, breweries, tail gating, speedways, NICEST PEOPLE EVER. Yeah. I don’t know what you’re talking about 😮
* Or zero, we're checking on that now
** This fact is not backed up by any scientific research or evidence
*** Absolutely FALSE! We’re 99.2% sure there are NO alligators in the Boise River
**** The only clowns we see are at Halloween time and they’re lame
***** Untrue. It smells like roses here. Shhh… don’t tell anyone